10 Most Embarrassing Moments as a Blind Girl

As you can tell by the title, I am blind. Not totally blind, but blind enough. I’ve heard more names to describe my vision than T swift has exes. 😬 Love you T!

Photo description: gif of Taylor Swift taking off sunglasses and looking exasperated from the blank spaces music video

Whether you want to call me legally blind, low vision, visually impaired, or high partial, there is one thing we can all agree on. Compared to sighted folks, I can’t see for shit! Yes, this has brought on some challenges throughout my life, but it has also given me some of the greatest experiences of my life. I know people always say not to define someone by their disability, which is true. I am not my blindness. However, my blindness is a part of me, a HUGE part at that. And it’s not something I shy away from, even when it gets me into some pretty sticky situations…

Photo description: gif of Sam from *Totally Spies* saying “It’s a very sticky situation.”

I think many of us can agree that finding humor in those moments in life that are, let’s just say slightly less than perfect, can be a cathartic experience. Today I am celebrating my blindness and finding humor in some of the craziest situations it’s gotten me in by ranking my top 10 most embarrassing experiences as a blind girl. Get comfy babes cause I’m about to give you the TEA! I hope you laugh along with me and realize that life is full of mishaps and if we can’t find humor in it, than what are we even doing here?

Photo description: gif of man rubbing the rim of a very large and steamy cup of tea saying “girl…”

10. Talking to bushes, lampposts, and various inanimate objects

Yes, this happens on the REGULAR!! So I’ve come to accept that if you’ve met me but you don’t Know me know me, you probably think I’m one of 2 things.

1. A complete bitch or

2. Batshit crazy.

A lot of times I keep my head down or purposely turn away from people. I’ll give a short smile, but I try not to waive or speak much simply because I’ve been burned too many times by countless voluptuous bushes or swole ass lampposts that have deceived me into thinking they are WHOLE HUMANS! All my people out there who have seen a curly headed girl talking to random objects outside, I’m not on drugs, I promise!

Photo description: Man cheerily waving at a line of lampposts.

9. Greeting coworkers as if they are customers

This has happened at several different jobs. I try to be a cheerful person, but it often gets me in the most awkward situations. Thankfully my coworkers usually know about my vision and can laugh with me every time I say “Welcome in!” or “How can I help you today?” to a fellow team member.

Photo description: gif of Amy Schumer and Jake Johnson laughing together

8. Wearing 2 different shoes… to work! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I do try to organize my shoes so that pairs are together, but life happens! The other day my mom was giving me a ride home after work. When I walked out of the building, truly feeling myself I must add, the first thing she says to me is “Did you know you have 2 different shoes on?”

NO MOM! I’m definitely not cool enough to make that kind of fashion statement.

Photo description: gif of Steve Carell rubbing his forehead with his hand

7. Drinking something I shouldn’t have…

So there was this one time that I got in the car with someone who smokes and sometimes even put their cigarettes out in cups of water. I think we can all imagine where this is going…. Well allow me to set the mood for you. It was a hot summer day here in Georgia and I was dying for a nice, ice cold sip of water. You can imagine my surprise when I mistakenly picked up the cigarette water cup instead of mine. Hands down the worst thing I’ve ever had in my mouth!

Photo description: gif of Amy Poehler sticking her tongue out in disgust

6. Getting caught like a fish… literally

I’m a beach girl. When I am at the beach, I feel truly and completely happy. Except for the time I walked into someone’s fishing line and completely freaked out only causing myself to get tangled up in it even more. I lost my brand new Maui Jim’s that day…

Photo Description: gif of James Van Der Beek crying

5. Actually forgetting people can see me

Many sighted people in my life often forget I can’t see. This is because I don’t “look” blind. There is nothing visibly different about my eyes and I don’t use my cane as much as I should. And in the same fashion, I often forget sighted people CAN see! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve rolled my eyes or made a face during a meeting at work or an argument with an s/o, friend, or family member genuinely thinking they wouldn’t see it only to be called out and completely mortified! I often have to repeat the mantra to myself, people can see you, people can see you.

Photo description: gif of Miss J Alexander looking shook

4. Thinking I’m alone when I’m actually not

Get ready for the cringe babes because this one is a story for the books. I share a huge room with 2 other women as my office space at work. One woman is only in the office 1 day a week, so we don’t know each other as well as me and the one who is there every day. Typically when I walk into the office, the girl who is there every day will greet me first so I know she is there. One day, I walked in and there was no greeting. I took a scan around the room and didn’t see anyone, so I assumed I was all alone. I start singing on my way to my desk. I then proceed to sit down and get to work. Something frustrating happens with my computer, so I loudly grumble my frustration with it. Then I proceed to eat my breakfast, and, since I’m all alone, let out a burp. Suddenly, the girl who works with me every day walks into our room and to my shocking surprise, I am not the only one to greet her. Yeah, I think my heart stopped beating for a full 30 seconds.

Photo description: gif of face crumpling up with caption that reads “dying from cringe”

3. Making the weirdest first impressions

It was my first day at a new job. I like to tell people about my blindness right off the bat, but because I’m not blind in the typical way people think of blindness and most people aren’t used to being around people like me, it usually takes a while to fully understand it. This can make for some pretty awkward first impressions. As I said, it’s my first day on the job. I was closing the store that night with only 1 other person and we had never met before. I told him about my blindness first thing, but several things kept happening that night. Issues with me not being able to zoom into the computer, the before mentioned greeting him when he walked down the hallway because I thought he was a customer, and then, there was the dog treat incident. Our store is in a residential complex, so many people walk by with their dogs. We keep dog treats on hand to give out if any people with dogs stop by. This man comes by with the cutest, little, black pug. I was gushing over her when my coworker asks if I want to give them a treat. Of course I do! He points to a cup under our counter, so I grab the cup and walk closer to the man and his dog. I ask the man if she can have a treat. He responds sure, so I excitedly dig down into the cup only to be met with a splash of water. You may be thinking that my coworker was pranking me, but everything happened so fast. When he realized I picked up the cup of water instead, he immediately grabbed the treats and rushed to my side, but I was already grabbing for water. What a mess it was! Although my coworker and I later laughed it off, I have no idea what the man with the cute pug thought of me! 🤣

Photo description: gif of Homer Simpson slowly disappearing into bushes

2. Mistaking another man for my boyfriend

So I feel like it’s totally unfair that the universe happened to place me not only in the same apartment complex, but the same building as a man who works at the same company as my boyfriend. No, they look nothing alike to a sighted person, but to someone who lacks the ability to see detail and only sees in shapes and colors; they are the same race, they wear the same uniform, they are around the same height, and they come home from work around the same time. WHAT IS A GIRL SUPPOSED TO DO? The thing is, this man and my boyfriend work for the same company, but not the same location, so they don’t know each other very well, and he definitely doesn’t know about my blindness. However, he definitely knows somethings up! I used to like to walk our dog around the time my boyfriend would be getting home so that we can meet him outside, but on multiple occasions now I’ve ran into the wrong guy, given him the flirty eyes, said something along the lines of “heeeeey, how was your day?”, and then panicked and ran back into my house when he responds with a voice that sounds nothing like my boyfriends. Needless to say, I do not like to walk my dog in the evenings anymore. I know I should probably reach out to him to explain, but I’m also mortified to see him again! If somehow you ever end up reading this, I’m not hitting on you and I’m not crazy! Well maybe a little crazy… but that’s a story for another day. Let’s move on to my number one most embarrassing moment as a blind person… drum roll please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Photo description: gif of men dancing and doing a drum roll on snare drums.

1. GETTING INTO THE WRONG CAR

I don’t think anything beats this one for me. I don’t think there is a way to fully capture the complete and utter horror that comes over you when you realize you have gotten in and whole buckled yourself into a car that was not waiting for you with a complete stranger who is equally as mortified as you are. This has happened twice in my life. The first time was the worst. I was in high school. My best friend’s mom was picking us up from school. Her mom being like a second mom to me, I didn’t have to wait on my friend to get in the car. I saw the familiar white van sitting in the carpool line, and I just knew it was the car I was waiting for. I hopped in, buckled my seat belt and started speaking only to look up and find a man staring at me in complete shock. In true Kizzie fashion, instead of explaining myself, I awkwardly gasped, unbuckled, hoped out and ran. WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

The second time was a bit better. I was waiting on an Uber, a car pulled up and stopped in front of me. I got in and started to buckle when the person said, “Um, I’m not an Uber.” Thankfully I had the sense to at least speak this time. I apologized and quickly got out. The more embarrassing part was when I got into the right Uber, the driver laughs and says, “oh you got into the wrong car!”

Did I Roger? Did I get into the wrong car? I had no idea! Thanks for pointing that one out!

Thankfully no humans were harmed in the making of these mistakes. However, it is an embarrassment like no other!

Photo description: gif of woman jumping out of car and running away

So there you have it, my top 10 most embarrassing moments as a blind girl. I hope you laughed along with me as I reminisced on some of the craziest situations I’ve gotten myself into. Comment which ones made you cringe the most, and some of your most embarrassing moments! Remember to always give yourself grace. Life is full of mishaps and mistakes. Find the joy in everything you do!